The Pittsburgh Pirates and owner Bob "Good for" Nutting are reinforcing their reputation as the laughing stock of major league baseball. The franchise may have set the MLB record for the fewest fans at a single game on a recent Tuesday night, when they were one-hit by the Reds. KDKA news estimated there were fewer than 1,000 fans at the game. The Post-Gazette reported seeing more ushers than bodies in some of the sections. PNC is a great ballpark but the Bucs aren't worth seeing for a buck.
Here are a few ideas to attract more fans to Pirate games:
Bring back Barry Bonds and hold a Human Growth Hormone night, with every fan receiving free samples of the "cream." The fans who attend will become twice as big, filling more seats.
Pay fans to come to the game. This novel idea might jumpstart the city's economy. Mayor Ravenstahl will support this promotion, if you can find him.
Trade all of the team's best players and use the cash to pay for more Fireworks Nights.
Sign Ben Roethlisberger because unlike most of the Pirates, he has a history of getting past first base.
Change the team's name to the Pittsburgh Penguins.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
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